The world we live in promotes the role of competition as a norm and a virtue. If competing is about becoming your best self, as well as helping others to reach this potential too, then there is no harm in such an approach. But when we are competing with each other in ways that harm others, causing us to fail to live up to our values and letting some lose out at our expense, then this fails to create a good future for all. To forge ahead in a way that respects others and ourselves, it is important to keep your values intact and at the forefront of all the choices you make.
1Know your values. To keep your values high, you need to know about your values first. This can be achieved by giving yourself ample time to reflect over what matters to you. Ask yourself what matters the most to you and what values you consider reflect the things you care about. Think about the values applicable both to yourself and to your interactions with others in the world. Values include:
What you wish to achieve (such as being helpful, useful, revolutionary, conserving, etc.)
The basics for interacting with other people and species on the planet (such as caring, sharing, being responsible, being open and honest, being supportive, etc.)
Your faith or spirituality (such as believing, enlightening, connecting, etc.)
The things that underpin your dealings with people at work (such as ethics, accountability, honesty, etc.).Values are broad and cannot be confined to what one person or group considers appropriate. You are responsible for discerning the values that matter to you and living by those values you've chosen. To help you focus on naming your own values, it can be useful to check out values lists. For example, Steve Pavlina has a neat summary of values at: http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles/list-of-values.htm.
2Reach understanding. You must have the ability to understand that we all are not the same. This means that our qualities and morals will differ from each other. Therefore, do not compare yourself with others and then just copy them. Don't make the mistake of compromising your values just to fit in or be part of an"in"crowd. You can see that those who run after success by copying others often leave their true values behind; eventually, this can lead to breakdowns or loss of a sense of self, and such persons tend to end up regretting allowing themselves be swayed by others', all when it is too late.
3Have and seek respect. Respect is not something that comes from fear. It is something that is rooted in love. If you love yourself, then you will love your values too and respect will come along naturally. And when you love and respect your values, other people will never be able to let them down, they're already deeply enmeshed within you.
4Learn to be determined. Determination won't come if you don't know how to attain it. If one day you simply wake up and decide to stay determined, yet the very next morning you give up on it, you'll soon learn that is not how it works. Keep in mind that every day won't come through as a perfect day for you. It's you who has to make it a better day, by having gratitude for what you have, working through challenging issues in a mindset of acceptance, as though you were blessed to be given that day to your life.
5Use your actions to guide how others perceive you. We all know that action speaks much louder than words. So, instead of saying big words about your values, it's always better to prove that they are your priorities too, by actioning them in what you do each day. If you don't put your values on a sacred level by doing whatever it takes to do it, then you certainly can't hope others to honor them either. Have the courage to live your values through your actions.
6Practice. Yes, practice makes man perfect. But, hold on, you are missing out on an important point. Regular and proper quality of practice makes a person perfect. So, practice each day to keep your values high, with determination.
Daily practice will also help you to figure out whether you need to broaden your outlook or not. This is because we often confuse our conservative perspectives as our values, when they are actually protecting us a little too much from venturing forth and discovering our greater potential. Through daily practice, you can self-calm, nurture your values and find the courage to live by your values.